Interview

December 9, 2023

Designation: UIFA 982-3. Utility Infantry Fighting Android. It's a mouthful, so everyone calls me Gavin. I'm currently doing my second tour on Earth.

What? Why did I return? They needed me to. What do you mean “who”? The Assembly, of course. Who else? So, yeah, second tour for my people and my system. In no way should Earth be denied to those who came from there in the first place. It makes no sense to leave things like they are now.

The new policy? It's a worthless piece of crap. That's what it is. I'm not surprised the pissant pussies on Io have started to question the whole venture. The snivelling pricks thought the enemy would cave in a year. And here we are a decade later and we've only liberated a quarter of the surface.

Yeah, it annoys me. What annoys me even more are the spineless organics who think they run the show and want to pull out because it's now “politically untenable”. What does that shyte even mean? They'll lose votes because we're sending the bastards back in body pods? That's if they can find anything left to send back.

I'd say so. They never saw us coming. The Pxartaeri thought they'd have an easy day of it against humans. You lot need us there. You think those squids are going to stop just with Earth? Look at your own history. Name one warmonger who ever thought, “Hey, boys, that's enough! Let's just stop here. We have a nice beach to chill on!” That's right. Said no one, ever. So yeah, you might say we still have a job to do.

Respect the enemy? Are you shitting me? You ever seen a squid tear humans apart? No? You want to?

I didn't think so. The only good squid is a dead squid. The less of it left, the better. And that is what the Seventh Ground Brigade does best. Burn squid fuckers.

Some people told you that UIFA's glorify war? Who was dumb enough claim that? Do you idiots even bother reading your own history? What the hell is wrong with you? War is a part of who you are. You created us. War is what we are and what we do. How much peace did you lot have when you were stuck on just one planet? Yeah, you guessed it. None. And you lot were dumb enough to expect anything different from yourselves out in the galaxy? Got to admire the optimism, but if you think humans are a peace-loving species, you're bigger idiots than low-caste squids.

The only difference now is that you have us to do your dirty work for you. Humans might be able to delude themselves into thinking they've become more civilised, but we know you. We're there on the cutting edge of your violent streak. If we weren't doing your killing for you, you'd be doing it yourselves. Luckily for you, we're good at it. The squids aren't the first and they won't be the last.

Take the fight to them? Sure, I'd be surprised if we didn't. Once we find their home planet, I say scorched Earth...hang on, that isn't right. Scorched whatever-they-call-their-rock.

That's right. Burn them right back to whatever they call their stone age. Humans need to grow a pair.

Glad you found it interesting. Hope you enjoyed your time Earth-side.

Thanks. And make sure people know we're still strong and still pushing them back. This isn't over.